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Jsem v Ománu. Jím humus a pitah chleba (a před chvílí mi kolega Anders ze Švédska přinesl nějaké další jídlo, které jsme se rozhodli pojmenovat Sunrise Bannana, i když vůbec nesouviselo s banánem ani se svítáním, ale stejně se nám to zdálo trefný) a píšu blog. Až ho dopíšu, sejdu o dvě patra níž do pokoje k holkám, ve kterým je kromě holek i wi-fi, a pošlu ten blog Adamovi, aby ho třeba otisk na Motoláku. Jak se tohle stalo?

Přeskočím nudný úvod o tom, jak jsem se dostával do Ománu skrze IFMSA byrokracii (které ovšem chci za tuhle příležitost jenom poděkovat) a začnu rovnou na letišti Ruzy… pardon, Václava Havla. Od kontaktu z Ománu mi bylo řečeno, že získat ománské vízum nestojí víc než 30 euro; nemusím mít žádná potvrzení, žádné dokumenty, žádné fotky, nic – jenom těch 30 euro. Pánovi na přepážce Václava Havla se to ale nějak nezdálo a všechny tyhle věci po mně začal chtít. Asi po deseti minutách smutných pohledů na obou stranách mě pustil dál s tím, že jemu to vlastně může být fuk. Z Česka si můžu odletět dle libosti, a že se nedostanu dál než na ománské letiště, to už není jeho problém.

Lety z Prahy do Istanbulu i z Istanbulu do Ománu proběhly hladce – na letištích nikdo nevybouchl a navíc jsem stihl zhlédnout i velice povedený film Zootopia, který tímto vřele doporučuji. První, co mě zarazilo, byl výstup z letadla v Ománu, kdy jsem se nemohl zbavit pocitu, že někdo zapomněl vypnout horkovzdušnou turbínu. Že by chyba pilota? Díval jsem se kolem, ale nikde jsem nenašel nic zapnutého, natož horkovzdušnou turbínu. Když sálající teplo přetrvávalo i daleko od letadla, osvítila mě smutná pravda – žádná horkovzdušná turbína, tady je prostě kur**ský vedro! A taky že jo – horkovzdušná turbína mě od té doby pronásleduje kdekoliv, kde není zapnutá klimatizace.

Nadešel čas pravdy – čas, kdy mi možná bude zamítnuto vízum a s ním i vstup do mé vysněné a poctivě zaplacené země. Přišel jsem k přepážce. „Hiya,“ podal jsem paní, ze které byl vidět jenom obličej, svůj pas. Podívala se do něj. „How long are you going to stay?“ zeptala se nonšalantně, jakoby se tu nerozhodovalo o životě a smrti. „One month.“ „OK, seventy euros.“

„…?“

„…!“

 „OK, here you go.“ Wow! Peníze vážně zvládnou všechno! Nebo se jenom můj ománský kontakt přepočítal anebo se kurz eura po Brexitu hodně snížil; to je fuk – dostal jsem se do Ománu, juch!

Následující kousek cesty proběhl překvapivě hladce a já už hrdě stál ve své nové ubikaci. Vzhledem k tomu, že jsem byl zpocený jako prase, byly mé cíle jasné: 1) spustit větrák. To se povedlo bez problémů, stačilo jenom otočit kolečkem. 2) spustit klimatizaci. To už se ukázalo jako nezvladatelně náročné a ani přes mačkání všech možných knoflíků jak na dálkovém ovládání, tak na samotné klimatizaci jsem to nezvládl. Ale nevadí, třetí bod všechno spasí – sprcha. Hm, tak prej ne. Protože když jsem kohoutek otočil na studenou vodu, tekla horká. Když jsem ji otočil na teplou, netekla žádná. Předpokládám, že se z kohoutku rovnou vypařovala.

Tak jsem se aspoň pro forma osprchoval horkou, rozbalil kufr, poctivě si uklidil věci do skříně a vydal se prozkoumat nejbližší okolí. Hned v druhém pokoji jsem se srdečně přivítal s jedním Indem a jedním Španělem, oběma inženýry, o patro níž jsem pak potkal slečnu z Tuniska a chlapce z Taiwanu, oběma inženýry. Hm. Není tu nějak moc inženýrů? „Guys, where are all the medical student?“

Oh. Jak se záhy ukázalo, byl jsem omylem zavezen do jiné ubytovny – překvapivě do ubytovny inženýrů. A mně to přišlo nějak překvapivě snadné. No nic; vybral jsem věci ze skříně, uklidil je do kufru, srdečně se rozloučil s Indem, Španělem, Taiwancem i Tuniskou (Tunisou? Tunisicí? Fakt nevim) a odjel s novým a o poznání zorientovanějším kontaktem vstříc novému a o poznání medičtějšímu ubytování.

Od té doby jsem fakticky jenom spal – především kvůli deficitu z letu, a taky proto, že je tu kurňa vedro – a teď jdu spát zase. Na závěr ještě dodatek, že se ukázalo, že v ubytovně inženýrů skončili kromě mě i další dva medici (proč? Copak je to organizačně tak náročné zadat správnému řidiči správnou adresu?!) a teď už vážně dobrou noc.
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